Writing, Routine and Poor Grammar

Art of Writing Box

Is the art of letter writing dead? It certainly must be unique if we refer to it as an art, when once it was the only way to communicate. It takes time to craft a sentence that is moving. A phrase that has true meaning and depth. There’s something about putting a pencil to a piece of paper that connects you to a deeper sense of yourself and with your own thoughts.

In an age where we create things to be better, faster and more efficient all with the goal of saving time so we can have more time, it seems as though we have sacrificed something greater to get to where we are going. And where are we going? It just seems like we’re going faster than ever more consciousness of time but less consciousness of each memory in it.

As each day passes feeling more and more like a routine… Weeks pass, months pass, years pass. You look back and realize you lived every day of it, but were you a conscious player in the making of your own memories? Were you practicing mindfulness? Or were you just moving through each day to get to the next? We move through life so quickly because if it’s faster it’s better, so we can move on to the next best thing that’s even faster and better than the last. So I just put my pencil to my piece of paper and breath.

C.A. Sullivan



I was sifting through my computer files looking for documents and other stuff I could delete and came across this gem. I had this idea last year to write a book out of the collections of thoughts, stories and journal entries I’ve written over the years. Okay, I had this idea multiple times over the course of the last 15 years but last year I decided it was going to be called Unicorn Tears: A Collection of Short Stories and Poems. I never forgot about it, I just keep writing and collecting my writings. But, I did forget about this forward I wrote for it. Enjoy.

You may have picked up this book thinking it was about Unicorns.  Unfortunately, you are mistaken. In these pages lies the story of transformation. A metaphorical transformation from ordinary to magical, from girl to unicorn. You’ll find heart break, grief, anguish, self-hatred, anger, and struggle. All of the necessary ingredients for true transformation.  

I’ve found something here, something in the pain and struggle. I can only describe it as becoming a Unicorn.  If you have gone through transformation you may know what I mean. 

C.A. Sullivan

An Excerpt From My Journal

Journal at Desk

Hey Guys, welcome! The best way to introduce myself is to give you an excerpt from my journal from mid 2019. I had finally made some progress after years of struggling and choosing to stay stuck in a circle of unhappiness. Enjoy!

The beginning of 2019 was an absolute train wreck for me. I was dealing with my dying cat, trying to secretly find a new job, and hating myself for who I had become over the years.

I have experienced great loss in the last 8 years of my life. The passing of my long time boyfriend, the passing of my closest brother, the passing of my grandfather, the passing of both of my cats. (Good things happened too, but I’m trying to make a point, stay with me!) I spent a lot of time in the last 8 years milling around life like a lost puppy. Sad, grief stricken, guilty, angry, ashamed of the person I had become when I was once so happy go lucky, positive and optimistic. I wondered where that person went.

I absolutely hated myself and didn’t know how to change anything. In the last year I’ve done a lot of soul searching and thinking. It has not been pretty! Especially the beginning of last year in which I was an absolute mess struggling to rip away the ugly person I thought I had become to try to be better and do better.

I finally feel like I am making some progress. All of my hard work is finally paying off. It hasn’t been easy. Its taken blood, sweat, and tears and perseverance at times where I felt absolutely defeated, at times where I was grieving, at times where I just wanted to give up. I complained non-stop to my best friend and finance, I cried…a lot, I kicked a screamed (metaphorically speaking).

And after all of that, I have finally accomplished something. A door has opened and I walked in. This is not the end of my spiritual/personal/professional journey.

This is the beginning. It will be hard, there will be more work to do, but I have finally broken through.

– C.A. Sullivan